AYIA AYIA AYIA F*CKING NAPA

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Four girls plus two cocktails each and thirteen shots for 6 Euros = happiest night ever. It’s safe to say that each night was as great as the last, with all four of us stumbling back to our hotel at some time between 5am and 7am every morning, causing the hotel manager to nickname us ‘the dancing girls’.

The holiday didn’t exactly get off to the greatest start for me; I’d been waiting to collect my luggage for around 20 minutes whilst my friends were waiting patiently with theirs, when those dreaded words appeared on the screen above the conveyor belt: “LAST BAG” – and the remaining suitcase was definitely not mine. I was eventually told by Larnaca airport staff that my suitcase was still at Gatwick airport and  would arrive at my hotel within 24 hours, so I stayed relatively calm and accepted the fact that I’d have to go one night without my stuff (it ended up that I went three days without my case, but it turned up eventually). Luckily, as I am a highly responsible person (most of the time), I’d already suggested that my mates and I swap a few clothes between suitcases just in case one were to get lost, making it obvious that I am actually a psychic. Anyway, we got to the hotel and chatted to our rep before getting ready to go out and kick start our holiday the right way – by getting absolutely wasted.

Before jetting off to Napa, we had found a discount deal online called ‘Club 100 Mega Deals’; this enabled us to enter clubs without paying on the door, as well as entry to events like boat parties, pool parties and after parties, and even a wristband which gave us discounts on drinks – all for £100 (as opposed to £290 if we had payed on the door for every club and event). If you’re heading to Ayia Napa this summer or planning to go next summer, I highly recommend this deal as it saved us a hell of a lot of money and I even ended up heading home with 180 Euros still in my purse! It also helped us by reducing the stress of having to figure out where to go and what to do – the whole week was pretty much planned out for us and it was so worth the money.

I won’t go through every single detail of the holiday day by day, but one thing worth mentioning is our journey back to the hotel on the second night; as we left the strip, a thirty-something Russian man began following us and after telling him to get lost, we thought he’d got the message – but he didn’t quite understand the meaning of “goodbye”. About five minutes later, the same man turned up as we were approaching our hotel, yet this time he was joined by a man and woman; it became clear quite quickly that the woman was incredibly interested in one of my friends and attempted to persuade her into having a threesome by offering her a Kinder Egg – because that’s always the way to a woman’s vagina..

We started to become worried as they followed us to the entrance of our hotel, and seeing as they weren’t listening to our rejections, we had no choice but to run. Luckily, the boys in the room next door to ours were standing outside so we darted straight into their room and waited until it seemed safe to head back out. Yet, our judgement was wrong; me and my roommate were on our way back to our room when the three culprits came out of nowhere and began charging towards us – only to stop in their tracks once they were warned that those boys were our (momentary) boyfriends. They soon backed away and disappeared from sight, but it’s safe to say that we had a pretty restless nights sleep.

Once we’d woken up and laughed off the previous night’s shenanigans, we got on with the rest of our holiday and it continued to be amazing; on the Friday evening we attended ‘Kandi beach party’where I got headbutted by a random boy but, as my nose hasn’t got any bigger from it, I’m not going to dwell on that. The event was pretty much a huge festival on the beach, just without the live music. As the drinks were free for us due to our ‘Club 100’ deal, it meant that we ended up too drunk to carry on the night and ended up back at the hotel by 2am – which is pretty poor. We headed to a champagne pool party the next day and on the Monday we went to ‘Beach Cult Live’ where Chase and Status were headlining; as a budding music journalist, it would be great for me to now head straight into an immense gig review but as we had payed for a street party which overlapped the Chase and Status gig, I’m unable to do that. In other words, we never actually got to see Chase and Status, so we mainly enjoyed the warm up music and the drinks before heading to the main strip for the all important street party.

We finished off our final day at the beautiful Nissi Beach which is now one of my favourite places in the world (not that I’ve been to many places anyway) and rented out a pedal boat which gave us the exercise we needed to make up for the alcohol consumption! The new lifestyle we were experiencing seemed to catch up with me on the last night and I ended up having to head back to the hotel pretty early, but luckily it meant that I wasn’t feeling rough on the journey home. All in all, it was the best holiday I’ve had and it certified that my friends are definitely people I want to keep in my life for a very long time; I’ve never had so much fun or so little sleep in a week and I would relive every single second of it if I could (maybe my psychic powers could help me out there). I cannot wait to book my next holiday, and if you’re deliberating whether to have a clubbing holiday, whether it’s with friends or a partner, just go for it – as long as the company is right and the music is good, you will have the time of your life.

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